Have you ever felt stuck, grappling with the challenge of finding gratitude amidst your unmet needs? Welcome to the illusion of “positivity”—a band-aid solution that often sounds like, “If only I could just let go” or “I wish I could be more grateful.” While seeking the silver lining in life is valuable, many popular spiritual and therapeutic practices prioritize release and catharsis over addressing the root causes of our suffering. This can become a limiting defense mechanism, one that encourages us to tolerate distress without truly confronting it.

The societal narrative often praises us for our resilience, but what it really means is compliance in the face of dissatisfaction. Through my work with clients, I've learned the importance of exploring somatic experiences—delving into the tension that lies just beneath the surface of our words. It’s in this space that we can uncover new actions and the possibility of shifting from mere coping to genuinely addressing our true needs. The friction we feel—manifesting as agitation, anxiety, or tension—can serve as a guide, illuminating the path toward deeper understanding and meaningful change.

Our somatic experiences hold the friction that serves as a gateway, offering us the opportunity to uncover our emotional needs and establish boundaries.

- Shaila Khan

Here’s a revised version that enhances the theme and flow:

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For instance, consider a situation where someone uses racial microaggressions to keep you feeling small. Your embodied response might be to escape, seeking protection from the discomfort. However, it’s only when you truly sense the anger and disappointment tied to that belittlement that you allow your boundaries to take root.

By feeling into our friction, we can uncover clues about the actions needed to meet our needs—and our true desires. This is the power of somatics: the subtle cues our bodies send us when there’s a disconnect between our thoughts and actions. You can choose to revert to old patterns, ignoring the call for change or pretending it doesn’t exist. Alternatively, you can become curious and trust your internal signposts, which often point to deeper desires waiting to be expressed. This is where I come in. I can help you engage with the parts of yourself that refuse to settle for mere coping and are ready to embrace a life of authentic fulfillment.

Consider these thoughts:

- "This relationship isn’t working for me anymore; I feel stuck."

- "It feels exhausting to wait another year to prove myself for this promotion."

- "I love being a parent, but it would be so much easier with some actual help."

- "I’m grateful to have a roof over my head, but I feel cramped and long for more space."

Somatic inquiry invites us to listen deeply to the frictions our bodies hold. When our thoughts, feelings, and embodied knowing align, we gain insight into when we need to pause, nourish ourselves, set healthier boundaries, dream bigger, and refuse to settle for less.

If you struggle with normalizing your desires beyond what you’ve accepted as a tolerable life, I highly recommend this article by Kasia Urbaniak as a good starting place.

Here’s a refined version for improved flow:

In my private practice, I delve into core wounds, experiences of trauma, and both internal and external oppression that may have hindered your connection to your true self. I employ various somatic practices—such as parts work, sensorimotor psychotherapy, expressive arts therapies, and dance/movement therapy—to empower the parts of you that are ready for change.

May we all live from our most vibrant and authentic selves.

Unlock Your True Needs: Tune Into Your Inner Friction for Powerful Change